Man Of The Year' Filmmaker Dirk Shafer Found Dead, I became really close friends really fast with Dirk Shafer because we had a lot in common when we first met 23 years ago.We had both been on “The Phil Donahue Show,” and we had a lot of mutual friends like Bruce Vilanch, Sally Kirkland, Jason Stuart, ANT, Bill Bochtrup and gay-for-pay porn god Rex Chandler. We were both good about keeping secrets.
Dirk was posing as heterosexual and sneaking around with his boyfriend. And, I was writing for major national gay publications and sneaking around with a girlfriend.
Over the years he met my girlfriends and boyfriends, and I met his. I lived just up the hill from him, and we saw each other at many parties, private and public. I wrote about him, he offered workout advice and we kept up with each other over Facebook.
He always looked good, he always avoided alcohol and drugs, he never did steroids and he was the perfect specimen of health. And so, it’s even more shocking that he was found Thursday in his car in West Hollywood dead of an apparent heart attack.
We had commiserated over a few deaths in the past year—Joan Rivers, fitness guru Greg Plitt who was hit by a train in Burbank, and others who were still dying of AIDS, or drugs. You never think you’ll be added to the list yourself. And, I never thought he would be.
Our mutual friend, director Sam Irvin, called me to say he read about Dirk’s death on Deadline. I couldn’t believe it. I quickly found a photo when we all first met each other at the Toronto International Film Festival at one of publicist Mickey Cottrell’s infamous festival parties in 1993. Dirk was there for his true-to-life mock-umentary “Man of the Year” where he posed as a straight man for a year after posing nude for Playgirl Magazine and hiding his boyfriend. Sam was there for his brilliant cult horror film “Guilty as Charged” starring Rod Steiger.
See the picture above that we took with Sam and his longtime partner Gary Bowers, Dirk and his boyfriend Michael (who is also in the movie), and a few minutes after the picture was taken, River Phoenix walked in and sat at the next table (and young River would be dead a month later).
Sam and Gary would later appear in cameos in Dirk’s second film “Circuit” and he wrote on my Facebook: “Devastating loss. Such a nice guy. … I had the great privilege of being an extra in one of the movie's party scenes -- and getting to see Dirk at work as a director. He was a natural.”
Noted film critic David Ehrenstein also pointed out "Circuit" is an underrated gem, noting: “A really nice guy. His film ‘Circuit’ is vastly underrated. It captures that scene perfectly. ”
Dirk appeared on “Will & Grace” as Blaze, and became friends with star Eric McCormack who tweeted, “Lost a good man today. #DirkShafer dear pal and awesome trainer for 17 years. Sending love to his family and so many friends. Be at peace, D.”
Dirk became personal trainer to other stars such as Oscar winner Richard Dreyfuss, Grammy-nominated Katy Perry and TV’s Tiffanni Thiessen, among others.
Although Dirk wasn’t afraid of being open about his sexuality, or being naked, he definitely wasn’t ever bisexual, not even when he tried to fake it.
“I gave a good go at it, it just wasn’t there for me,” Shafer tells me. “I’d giggle when I kissed my friend Vivian (Paxton who plays his girlfriend in ‘Man of the Year’). I tried it with other women, it just wasn’t there.”
But, he knew guys who were bisexual, and in “Circuit” he wrote the lead character’s backstory with a successful female relationship.
“I know it’s real, I know people who are bisexual,” Dirk said. “And I know I’m not.”
Now, out actors are out proudly and don’t have to hide behind machismo, and a lot of that is because of Dirk. He made Playgirl magazine acknowledge that most of their readership is gay. He made it easier for stars to be open about their sexuality.
Queer As Folk’s Peter Paige remembers Dirk: “Just wrecked. Loved Dirk. A good, kind man with a smile and a hug for everyone. RIP, my friend.”
Peter Marc Jacobson, who is the co-creator of The Nanny and Fran Drescher’s ex-husband, described Dirk as “a kind wonderful talented man.”
Wilson Cruz, from My So Called Life and GLAAD, writes, “I just hugged you a few days ago and you looked so happy and well. I’ll miss your face, your energy, and your positive spirit. Thank you for all of your encouragement and the laughs, sweet man. I’ll never forget it or you.”
The Los Angeles County Coroner’s office say that early indications show that Shafer died of “natural cases,” and they are doing toxicology reports. He was found near his home, slumped over in his car, with no bottles or paraphernalia nearby. Friends think he had a heart attack.
His family posted on Dirk’s Facebook page that he died peacefully:
Dirk was posing as heterosexual and sneaking around with his boyfriend. And, I was writing for major national gay publications and sneaking around with a girlfriend.
Over the years he met my girlfriends and boyfriends, and I met his. I lived just up the hill from him, and we saw each other at many parties, private and public. I wrote about him, he offered workout advice and we kept up with each other over Facebook.
He always looked good, he always avoided alcohol and drugs, he never did steroids and he was the perfect specimen of health. And so, it’s even more shocking that he was found Thursday in his car in West Hollywood dead of an apparent heart attack.
We had commiserated over a few deaths in the past year—Joan Rivers, fitness guru Greg Plitt who was hit by a train in Burbank, and others who were still dying of AIDS, or drugs. You never think you’ll be added to the list yourself. And, I never thought he would be.
Our mutual friend, director Sam Irvin, called me to say he read about Dirk’s death on Deadline. I couldn’t believe it. I quickly found a photo when we all first met each other at the Toronto International Film Festival at one of publicist Mickey Cottrell’s infamous festival parties in 1993. Dirk was there for his true-to-life mock-umentary “Man of the Year” where he posed as a straight man for a year after posing nude for Playgirl Magazine and hiding his boyfriend. Sam was there for his brilliant cult horror film “Guilty as Charged” starring Rod Steiger.
See the picture above that we took with Sam and his longtime partner Gary Bowers, Dirk and his boyfriend Michael (who is also in the movie), and a few minutes after the picture was taken, River Phoenix walked in and sat at the next table (and young River would be dead a month later).
Sam and Gary would later appear in cameos in Dirk’s second film “Circuit” and he wrote on my Facebook: “Devastating loss. Such a nice guy. … I had the great privilege of being an extra in one of the movie's party scenes -- and getting to see Dirk at work as a director. He was a natural.”
Noted film critic David Ehrenstein also pointed out "Circuit" is an underrated gem, noting: “A really nice guy. His film ‘Circuit’ is vastly underrated. It captures that scene perfectly. ”
Dirk appeared on “Will & Grace” as Blaze, and became friends with star Eric McCormack who tweeted, “Lost a good man today. #DirkShafer dear pal and awesome trainer for 17 years. Sending love to his family and so many friends. Be at peace, D.”
Dirk became personal trainer to other stars such as Oscar winner Richard Dreyfuss, Grammy-nominated Katy Perry and TV’s Tiffanni Thiessen, among others.
Although Dirk wasn’t afraid of being open about his sexuality, or being naked, he definitely wasn’t ever bisexual, not even when he tried to fake it.
“I gave a good go at it, it just wasn’t there for me,” Shafer tells me. “I’d giggle when I kissed my friend Vivian (Paxton who plays his girlfriend in ‘Man of the Year’). I tried it with other women, it just wasn’t there.”
But, he knew guys who were bisexual, and in “Circuit” he wrote the lead character’s backstory with a successful female relationship.
“I know it’s real, I know people who are bisexual,” Dirk said. “And I know I’m not.”
Now, out actors are out proudly and don’t have to hide behind machismo, and a lot of that is because of Dirk. He made Playgirl magazine acknowledge that most of their readership is gay. He made it easier for stars to be open about their sexuality.
Queer As Folk’s Peter Paige remembers Dirk: “Just wrecked. Loved Dirk. A good, kind man with a smile and a hug for everyone. RIP, my friend.”
Peter Marc Jacobson, who is the co-creator of The Nanny and Fran Drescher’s ex-husband, described Dirk as “a kind wonderful talented man.”
Wilson Cruz, from My So Called Life and GLAAD, writes, “I just hugged you a few days ago and you looked so happy and well. I’ll miss your face, your energy, and your positive spirit. Thank you for all of your encouragement and the laughs, sweet man. I’ll never forget it or you.”
The Los Angeles County Coroner’s office say that early indications show that Shafer died of “natural cases,” and they are doing toxicology reports. He was found near his home, slumped over in his car, with no bottles or paraphernalia nearby. Friends think he had a heart attack.
His family posted on Dirk’s Facebook page that he died peacefully:
