Welcome back to 'Survivor,' where you can only use your feet,This week's episode of Survivor is completely devoid of #TRAILMIXSCANDALs, but it does feature lots of mud, endless bickering, yachts and sandwiches, a double-cross most foul and a challenge where you can only use your feet. Firefighter and early favorite Jeremy was eliminated in this episode, so clearly all bets are off.
QUOTABLES AND NOTABLES:
- Former Michigan State football player Jon talks about his decision to switch from Reed's alliance to Jeremy's alliance last week, saying, "If there's anything I've learned from watching past Survivors, it's trust your instincts." Seems like it's been a lot more "knee-jerk reactions" than "instincts," but I'm no expert.
- Keith is full of folksy charm, in that he looks and sounds exactly like a grizzled prospector. So when he says, "It's gettin' to crunch time now," I actually believe him, even though I'm not sure at all what he's talking about.
- Jeremy's in pretty good shape, y'all.
Reed talks about how Jeremy and Natalie are ingratiating themselves to Jon and Jaclyn and says, "It makes me wanna hurl. It's so transparent." You're on Survivor, dude. They could call this show LACK OF SUBTLETY ISLAND.
- Reed goes through Keith's bag. You know, just for shits and gigs. He finds the instructions for the immunity idol (which I'm amazed comes with instructions, since EVERYONE ON THE SHOW KNOWS EXACTLY HOW THE GAME WORKS BUT THEY NEVER TAKE TWO SECONDS TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING TO THE VIEWERS, EVER. Reed refers to this as "a paper trail," which I guess is literal in this case. He says, "It's a big rookie mistake. Don't leave stuff in your bag that you don't want people to find." Yeah, total rookie mistake. WATCH OUT FOR THIEVES AND PICKPOCKETS, ROOKIE.
- After being eliminated, Jeremy says, "The good guy lost this time." Oh, Jeremy. There are no "good guys" on this show. Only crabby, hungry dorks and lamewads. And possibly Keith.
SURVIVOR DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE:
- CBS has absolutely no confidence in either its viewers or its social media strategy, or both. Throughout the episode, hashtags that are hyper-specific to THAT EXACT MOMENT ON THE SHOW or @JEFFPROBST or something similar will pop up from time to time in the lower-left hand corner of the screen, but never for longer than four seconds at a time, before disappearing forever. Lots of shows leave hashtags up for the duration of the show. You know, so people can create #engagement and start some #trending #topics and build up #brand #recognition, but CBS' approach appears to be "HEY TWEET ABOUT THIS NOW. FORGET THAT, NOW THIS." I have no tolerance for your mad weak social strat game, CBS.
- Last week's physical challenge reward was a pop-up taco bar. This week? Sandwiches on a yacht. Complete with dolphin-watching and champagne and strawberries. Next week is probably a spa day and a helicopter ride. The following week, everyone gets to own an Outback Steakhouse franchise location.
