Hulk Hogan says he’s training for a WrestleMania 31 match and that is a truly terrible idea, This isn’t an Onion article. This is real life and it sounds terrible. Hulk Hogan said he’s hoping to have a match at WrestleMania 31 in March. The 61-year-old who’s gone through multiple back surgeries wasn’t joking. Per an interview with CBS Sports’ and Turnbuckle Weekly’s Chuck Carroll, Hogan said:
“I’d love to get in [the ring] because I miss it and love it so much. I’d love to get in there and really just tear it down on one of the Mania’s one last time. … [John] Cena would be the guy I’d love to get in the ring with.”
Hogan was not speaking hypothetically, CBS Sports reports. Hogan said he’s training hard and now only needs the approval of WWE CEO Vince McMahon and Executive Vice President Paul Levesque, aka Triple H, who according to a WWE spokesperson, have not ruled out a Hogan comeback as a possibility.
“Never say never in WWE,” he wrote in an email to The Washington Post. Which means it’s time to beg. Please, WWE, don’t do it!
Hogan told CBS that he’d love to face ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin in the ring, however, Austin, who quit wrestling partly because of doctor’s orders, has made it crystal clear that he has no plans to come out of retirement to risk re-injury.
Speaking of injuries, Hogan’s back has been a serious concern, although Hogan now says his spine is A-OK. Per the Carroll interview, he said:
“My back’s cool. I never dreamed that if we were to digress and wind backward almost three and a half years ago when I was sitting in a wheelchair after back surgery number six, the doctors told me and my new wife I’d never walk again. After three more back surgeries, I was up on my feet moving around. Now if we fast forward a couple years, my back doesn’t hurt at all, brother.”
That’s great! And the best way to stay pain free is to stay out of the ring and not risk re-injury! (Take Austin’s advice!)
Not to mention, while Hogan was fun to watch back in the day, it’d probably be a lot less enjoyable to watch him now, not least of which is because throughout the whole match the audience would be terrified of the outcome and I’m not talking about who would win or lose. (On that note, too, Cena vs. Hogan would be one of the least entertaining storylines of all time. It’d be like Cena vs. a more rickety Cena with absolutely nothing at stake except children’s minds, who would be so confused about who to cheer for they might start chanting “Cena sucks!” too. It’d be a disaster.)
Mostly, though, who wants to watch a match in which everyone involved would have to be overly cautious to ensure Hogan doesn’t come out worse for wear? The concept of a Hulk Hogan comeback (against Cena or not) might be exciting in theory, but the reality of the flesh and bones involved would simply not allow it to be cool.
So, please, WWE, just say no. Keep Hogan a living (and able-to-walk) legend, unclouded by a modern-day match that would most likely go down as one of the worst, scariest, nonsensical and/or boring in history.
