7 New Parenting Shows that Need to Be On TV, October is now over and that means television networks have rolled out their new Fall programming lineups. Quite honestly, I’m not much of a TV watcher unless it involves grown-ass men throwing, kicking, catching, slam-dunking, or hitting balls (that sounds way dirtier than I intended). However, if I owned a television network like Oprah does, I’d definitely put these seven parenting shows on it.
#1 – Daddy Skills – The Game Show: The concept is simple. A bunch of dads would compete in various events for cash prizes. Events would include fastest diaper changer, the cutest/most original hairstyle created for their toddler, the quickest to calm an infant’s meltdown by singing, the first dad to create a meal that the world’s pickiest toddler would actually eat, etc. You’re lying to yourself if you think you wouldn’t watch this.
#2 – Deadbeat Island: I mentioned this idea in my new book, but I’m sharing it here as well. A bunch of deadbeat dads get captured, put on an island together, and all they have is crappy food, dirty water, and each other. The scorned moms (who happen to watch this all go down via satellite in a studio audience) get to choose the fate of the deadbeats each episode. One week it could be watching them eat a meal you delivered to the island with your kids’ poop mixed in as one of the main ingredients (just think of the movie The Help and you’ll catch my drift). The next week it could include tying them up, blindfolding them, and quizzing them on their kids’ birthdays. In the event they couldn’t remember correctly, a NFL punter with a full head of steam could run up and kick them squarely in the hang low. The possibilities are endless.
More often than not it would include deploying the show’s heroine – Gertrude the DDD (“DDD” stands for Deadbeat Daddy Destroyer) to the island. Gertrude is mean, strong, and she’s a black belt in the ancient art of BeatingTheShitOutOfYou. It’s never a pretty sight once she finds the deadbeats. Well, if you’re one of the scorned moms, I guess it’s a pretty sight…but you know what I mean.
Seriously, if you want to end the Deadbeat Dad epidemic, this show must be green lit.
#3 – Will He or Won’t He?: For each episode, a mom goes out of town and leaves her husband alone with the kids. Unbeknownst to the husband, a hidden camera is installed in the house and the mom provides him with a list of five household tasks to complete with the kids while she’s away (help with homework, only feed them healthy meals, bathe them each day, wash the dishes, do laundry, read bedtime stories, etc.) Before his wife skips town, the host of the show will ask her how many tasks she believes the husband will complete successfully. If she’s correct, the family will win $50,000 (meaning, if she thinks he’ll only complete three tasks successfully, he would have to complete exactly three tasks successfully). If the husband completes less tasks than his wife predicts, then they’ll have to attend a mandatory couples bootcamp/therapy session. If the husband completes more tasks than the wife predicts, he wins an all-expenses paid weekend trip with his male buddies to any location in the United States (no wife and no kids).
